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The mom in this story giving birth is a licensed midwife in Louisiana and has the labor support of another midwife. This is a birth story for the birth of her fifth child.

Birth of Kateri Maria

June 1, 2006

All week I had been feeling the need to nest (clean, rest, etc.) and to stop working. But with one lady still due (by this time overdue, May 24 to be exact) I began to question the sanity of taking a patient so close to my due date. I felt all this pressure to “wait” I assured the patient my due dates were accurate and I would be “holding onto” this baby until at least then. Meanwhile I was feeling a little overwhelmed and resentful. I told her that The Feast of the visitation would be a good day. The day when Mary, the Mother of God (acting as a midwife) traveled to take care of Elizabeth (John the Baptist’s mom). Secretly, I wished I would go into labor that day and then the reflection that perhaps I was being selfish and needed to give up these foolish thoughts.

The morning of the visitation I traveled to mass and still with the thought that this should be “my time” I prayed. Father, what is wrong with me? I’m grumpy, tired and don’t want to see patients today (I had a busy day ahead). Do you have anything to tell me on this Feast day? Immediately the Holy Spirit brought to me a reflection of Mary who traveled in her first trimester (most likely, sick and tired) to care for someone else. I received the grace for this desire. Then I arrived at mass, and reflected on Mary traveling on a donkey in her days before labor and not even having a place to birth the little one. What timing???? At that point I began to trust and surrender the timing. It no longer mattered if I fit in every last patient or even if I delivered before my overdue patient.

That night, around 11:00 p.m. as Ben and I sat working on the icon (the one I wanted to finish before labor began) I felt some water leaking. This can’t be the time I thought!! I double checked and sure enough, my water had broke. Anxiety and excitement filled my heart. Still with doubts about going through labor, abandoning all those patients, and the timing, mixed with peace at the thought of The visitation and Mary being there for my birth.

What to do now? All my daytime early labor plans were gone. I guess going to sleep would make the most sense (the thing I tell all my patients to do at this stage of labor) yet, too excited, can’t sleep. Plus I wanted to fit in adoration at the chapel and thought I would be delivering early morning. So at 2:30am I traveled to the chapel. After a few hours of prayer, and lots of contractions, I quickly drove back home to birth the baby. I called Karen (my midwife) and told her not to rush but to come over after mass (this would have her arriving around 9am) Then things started to get really slow, contractions spaced out to anywhere from 15 min apart to 30 min apart. This is strange for me I thought? Why is this happening? The contractions were definitely more painful but taking forever to happen. In between I was actually getting bored waiting for another one to come. I was analyzing everything. I felt peace about the safety of the delivery, just still was having a hard time surrendering to how it should go and the timing. Karen reported that baby was doing great, heart tones were good, position was good, things were just slow. At that point, I sent her away on an errand and took a nap. Later the family and I went for a walk. It sounded good, but it was starting to heat up, so our walk was short. It was rather surreal sitting on the rocking chair on the porch in the humidity. This would be our first Louisiana delivery. Life was good. Speaking of which, this baby was conceived during hurricane Katrina time (Katrina means pure) And Kateri (which also means pure) was born on the first day of hurricane season for the new year. (I’m taking this as a good thing for Louisiana).

So, back to this slow labor. I was getting frustrated, but knew there was no point in rushing anything. Karen came back and we sat around calling all my patients that had been scheduled for the next week, cancelling appointments. Karen joked that each time we checked one off the list a contraction would come. Maybe I was still attached to “my timing?”

I sent Karen home again to be with her family and thought maybe the baby was waiting until June 2nd to be born. I told Karen I’d call if I ever started up with contractions again.

I had been praying all day, but decided to look up Kateri’s feast day reflection in The Magnificat and see if God had a message for me.

The reflection, I read then changed everything. Before this, even though it’s clear I wasn’t, I still thought I was surrendering. I read the following....... “Do not worry”

Now, with sudden and almost blinding clarity and simplicity, I realized I had been trying to do something with my own will and intellect that was at once too much and mostly wrong. God’s will was not hidden somewhere “out there” in the situations in which I found myself; the situations themselves were his will for me. What he wanted was for me to accept these situations as from his hands, to let go of the reins and place myself entirely at his disposal. He was asking of me an act of total trust, allowing for no interference or restless striving on my part, no reservations, no exceptions, no areas where I could set conditions or seem to hesitate. He was asking a complete gift of self, nothing held back. It demanded absolute faith, faith in God’s existence, in his providence, in his concern for the minutest detail, in his power to sustain me, and in his love protecting me. It meant losing the last hidden doubt, the ultimate fear that God will not be there to bear you up. It was something like that awful eternity between anxiety and belief when a child first leans back and lets go of all support whatever, only to find that the water truly holds him up and he can float motionless and totally relaxed”

After this message came peace, and with the peace steady contractions. Now it was time, now I was ready. We filled the birth pool, which was placed in our prayer room, hung up Our lady of Guadalupe blanket for privacy and meditation and I dove in. Right before I went in, Maryanna (acting as the midwife’s assistant) reminded me that I should call Karen and brought me the phone. She thought of this on her own. I still told Karen to wait to come and I would call her back. The pool was hot, so in between contractions I got out and back in with a contraction. Maryanna, at my side, asked if I needed anything and brought me cool washclothes and held my hand through contractions. Soon it was time to push. Somewhere in there Ben had called Karen, but when I started to feel the urge, she still wasn’t there. I began to stress, because I didn’t want her to miss it. Call Karen I yelled to Ben, he called and she was already in the driveway. I had two more contractions and told Ben get the kids it’s time. They all gathered around the pool and with three pushes the baby was born. She came out with her hand up by her chin and a cord around the neck. I looked right away to see who she was. I said, “It’s Kateri” The kids were pretty excited and right away, Maryanna asked to hold her. Before and after, my heart was filled with love and joy for my family.

Kami Dehler